Being a mom with a chronic illness isn’t easy. Nightly you worry that you will let your children down by being too sick to do something the next day. What if you get sick and end up back at the hospital? So many what ifs that you worry about in your own mind.
When I found out I had kidney failure, my biggest fear was that I would leave my children without a mother. My father passed while my mother was pregnant with me. Even now at 38, I wish I had a chance to get to know my dad.
While sitting in the hospital bed for 8 days, I thought about what will happen. Will my kids know how much I love them if something did happen? Would they remember me. (At the time Hayley was 11 and Spencer was 7.) Even now thinking about all this, I have tears fall. I remember the fear I was feeling like it was yesterday.